Are you ready for the next one?
Am I hearing a ‘YES’? Really? :-).
Just One? Or you want your present baby to have a sibling? If you ask me this I am left speechless. But I can think of one alternative option, ‘You take the pain; and I can carry and deliver as many babies as you want. Will that deal work?’
This is not possible; I know.
When I was pregnant for the first time, during the last trimester I started absorbing the fact that I will not be able to be calm and comfortable after I get back to work post maternal leave. I have to cut short (rather stop) my work team outing or party, because my baby will be waiting. I was prepared for all that. I have to have interrupted sleeps and rests. Well, I was prepared for all the changes I had to incorporate.
Now when it is the ‘history repeats itself’ mode, (wait!! I am not pregnant again now. Ok.) none of the previous type of thoughts creep in my mind. It is only the shivering thoughts of the labor pain. How long would it get this time? 3 hours? 1 hour?…no not that easy. 7 hours?? Or 9, 10???
Long or short, however it is, it is going to be life wrenching. Any medications, any pain substitutions, anything associated with the next child cannot go without pain. Only pain gives gain.
I salute every woman who courageously and of course proudly walks out with a pack of children. Of course bearing one child is also no less. But after knowing the whole trauma, being ready for the next one is something a real big deal for me. It is not just the labor pain that is involved; it has so much of emotional stress and strain which goes on for a long time. Going through everything from the beginning once again is something really to be thought about.
My granny has SEVEN children!!! :-O. How should I react to this fact!!!! I don’t know.
I had always wished for a daughter when I was pregnant for the first time. And when my secret wish became true; I regretted for having wished so. I so badly wanted my baby to be a boy. Not that I am gender biased; but I did not want my baby to undergo the painful trauma of giving birth to a new life.
Some things you should be clear about before being pregnant once again-
- Nothing should force you to decide for the next child.
- Not even your husband’s or family’s dream should make you go weak on agreeing for the next child. Because you are the responsible person for growing the whole sapling.
- Turn deaf ears to those who ask ‘Only one? Aren’t you planning for the next one?’.
- You have to be more than 100% sure when you decide on the next pregnancies.
- A planned pregnancy is always better than a by-chance pregnancy. When you know you have opted for what is to be expected, then 99% of the nervousness is driven away. This is will give no scope for embarrassment too.
- Make sure your decision has been made with full confidence. Lest depression will follow the decision made in doubt.
- There is a blind concept of maintaining age gap in babies. Say when you last baby is 2 or above, you can conceive again for your next baby. What!!!! How is that true!!?? I have received suggestions like ‘Your daughter is close to 2. It is time she had a brother/sister now. She will have a company to play’. Is this any sensible? It takes a lot other factors than just maintaining age gap.
- A bigger family is always joy and fun; boredom never creeps in. But then it is your call. Solely the mother’s call if you ask me.
- Decide for your own happy reasons. A happy mother makes a happy baby, and a happy family too.
- After you have decided to go ahead, be prepared to rectify all the problems/mistakes that happened during your earlier pregnancy and baby care.
I have not yet fixed myself on this matter. No idea when will I want to look over this. I do not allow any body to say even a word about having or not having the second child. My daughter may or may not have sibling/s.
My decision is not yet done and the options are open yet.
After the big decision is made, there are more other important factors to discuss about ‘deciding on your next child’. Lets discuss in the upcoming post. Mean while take your time to make your big decision.
Have you decided about your next child?
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