Some working mothers feel guilty about leaving their family to go to work. A working mother is like a clown always having to balance her home and work life. She can neither be liberal towards her duties to her child nor towards her work. Both of them demand the same dedication and strength.
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As I write this post I find it difficult to choose a side. Who is better? The working mother or the stay at home mom? I like the idea of quality over quantity. The quality of interaction with the child cannot be pinned on the mothers role as worker or homemaker.
If you think of quanity then let me say that satisfied women are consistently more warm, involved, playful, stimulating and effective with their children than unsatisfied women. What if a woman wants to work and pursue her career dreams? What if work is part of her identity but she is forced to stay at home and only play mom? She is at home the entire day but will her attitude be as nuturing as that of a woman who has self satisfaction?
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Giving it up your dreams do not make you a better mother it will make you less of the person you are and that will make you less of a mother and on the other hand you have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once.
Everyone knows that money always provides some of the extras in life, whether a regular dinner out or a nice vacation. Although the mother earns this extra privelge she still feels guilty about not being at home, so when they are there they want to make every minute happy and so they do not want to be strict and so setting limits and modifying behavior becomes a problem. Children also get a hint of this and take advantage of it.
A stay at home mom also has its advantages. The mother does not have a boss and so she doesn’t have timelines, deadlines and doesn’t face sexual harrassment. She is not stressed with the outside world like a working mom. She is able to do the housework at her own pace and also pursue her hobbies side by side. She is there for her kids 24 hours. Does working outside of the home mean working moms are always stressed and unable to maintain their home? Does her absence interfere with the child’s development? No, not really there aren’t any supporting facts stating the same. Any delayed milestones faced by the child can also appear with a stay at home mom and will eventually go at its own pace.
Often times many women cannot work outside the home because they are not qualified, even uneducated. They are still moms but do you think that they can help their children with their studies or with extra curricular activities like music, abacus or G.K. ? No, so does the fact that they are stay at home moms make them better mothers than their counter parts who work?
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There are two things I know for sure. Firstly, working mothers set an example for their children. There is dignity in a hard days labour! Girls learn from the choices that their moms make and often compare their choices to those of their mum. With boys, well they learn to respect women as equal contributors in the workplace because they see their mum the same way and secondly they learn to be confident and independent.
In the end every mother whether working or stay at home hopes that her children will understand that her family is her top priority.
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